scribere

February 11th, 2009

when you least expect it.

2/11/09 07:01 pm

it's just too many cliches, ya know?
be careful what you wish for.
it'll happen when you least expect it?
too cliche that you rarely ever pay attention to it.
that you don't want to pay attention to it.
it seems so unnecessary.
ha.
fancy that.
turns out there Is some truth in all that jazz.

for one thing, be contented.
fellas take up time.
and strength.
and sanity.
and we only get so much ya know?

nevertheless, i'm pretty sure i'm enjoying myself
some of the time, anyway.
and yet, it seems to be more than that lately.
like there has to be some sort of direction
for everything
and everyone.
otherwise, they don't even want to try.
i guess i picked sth up from the boys along the way, but i just don't get why we can't just be content with the here and the now?
why must there be so many questions?
so many tests.
about the future.
when it's not even here yet.
either that, or we're testing the present.
just to see.
just to annoy.
just to keep me on my toes.

*breathe*

and it's hard.
a lot of it.
school.
church.
keeping a hold on things, before i let go, and they just keep running.

but i have friends.

and they keep me grounded. safe. laughing. busy.

October 17th, 2008

i'm guilty, i'm mean and i'm tired. but this makes it better.

10/17/08 06:45 pm

there are seriously too many results.
i mean, why should we be tested on everything and anything?
i recently took a seventy-two question test on my personality.
just so i could discover that i am a ESFJ. whatever that means. my chair buddy would know.

first sem assessment of results:

i.procrastinate.wayyy.tooo.muchh.

(oh, and i'm a horrendous writer. so, big whoop.)

:(

but whatevs.
i'm on to sem TWO now.
and it's gotta work.
better.

anyway, to keep me busy with prettier things,
(although, my girls are doing quite a good job of that as it is.)

i'm showcasing me and mell. FOR MELL. TO MAKE HER SMILE.HOPE IT WORKS. :)
( at our best.. )

surprise me.

September 13th, 2008

everybody got a lil bit more.

9/13/08 06:22 pm

so everybody got a lil bit more.
older.
a lil bit more.
different.

heels.
in the end,it's not a matter of how they feel.
it's how they look.

i've been playing around in the

( dressing rooms )

a lot.
~thanks to kate
~thanks to mell.

and i've been back in and around church.
sjs '08 could easily be summed up in: 2000 plastic red-and-white chairs. not that it was as seemingly mundane as that or anything.
just that i feel it was all about that, ya know?
a youth rally.
youth.
being youth.
coming together to work.
to be swept all around in what we believe in.

under the heat of the scorching sun that insisted on eluding me these past few weeks, i felt that.
all of it.
the joy and warmth that comes from praising.
from believing.
it was in every bead of perspiration that soaked my ij P.E. tee that i was forced to wear. (i heart ij. but the P.E. tee is T.H.I.C.K)
I knew it was all worth it.
it was my gift.
my part.
and that's what it's always been like with sjs.
irregardless of whether i was involved,
or wiping one of 'em red-or-white plastic chairs of the rain that they were recently showered upon,
that's what it's like for me.
i feel it.
i feel like i'm a part.
of something big.
big.
and great.
magnificent even.

( cue the shots from the night. )

this lj has been left forgotten for a bit..
almost left completely.
but i figured i had something to say.
and so i came back
and did.

surprise me.

July 31st, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!

7/31/08 10:55 pm

today's harry's birthday!
and squirt's!

happy 19th girl!

it's so fitting that it shd be today that

dragonz helped me rediscover harry with the trailer of the new flick!
i can't believe it's here!i can't believe i didn't know!

anyhoo, go check it out.
it's as great as it ever should be.

be back soon.
with pictures. once kate sends 'em over.

surprise me.

July 6th, 2008

i want to be that girl.

7/6/08 06:14 pm

they're always asking what you want to be when you grow up.
they,as in, we. as in, me.
well, i want to be her.
in my userpic.
i'm sure i caught myself in that position on more than one occasion.
it shouldn't be That difficult.

my issues with the formatting here in lj is killing me.
it's preventing me from making anything as purrrdy as i want it to be.

i did tile-painting with the girls on thursday. FUN.
i was barefoot. FUN.
i had sticky paint all over my fingers. kinda FUN.
i saw Dashnee. FUN.
we took pictures of the tiles! FUN.

i can't post any pics without taking a lifetime out of my insane schedule. Not FUN.

i'm making new friends everyday. they lead extraordinary lives. we all do.
it's funky how diverse and growing- y my peeps pool has become.

i need to get back to church.

i don't like time limits.
my fingers run over the keys like a desirous piano player.

hush-hush message from me to you that i will soon post publicly:
you think you know who i am
but i'm lying to you.
i should probably tell you that.
but i don't.
but i've been thinking that if i don't tell you,
then whatever it is we're doing here might never work.
i think i should tell you things.
but that's another thing, what Is that "whatever we're doing here"?
can you tell me, please?
so i can stop dwelling on it?
i have a lot to do, you know?
and this is wayyy too teeny bopper for me to handle.

i'm doing this so as to not disappoint myself. my potential.
but i'm disappointing in friendships as i go along the way.

oh golly wolly.
the lights just came on.

quick, tell me who You want to be.

Current Mood: tired